…it was not a dagger, not a sword, not a sharp knife but a sharp little needle. I named that needle as memory and attached it to my chest. When I close my eyes, when the memories flood and the past burns the brain, the needle takes its toll. It enters through the chest slowly and touches the heart. It was not painful when the needle touched the wall of the beating heart. It slowly breached the hearts’ wall and entered in slowly causing the whole body to shiver and the heart to twitch like an organ cut off from the body. Every twitch the image flashed before me and the pain killed me like the acid entering my blood vessels. What wrong did I do other than believing in unconditional love! When I was pouring all the best things I have I thought I was pouring into the pond of elixir but the time has proved me that I was pouring into abyss.
Foolishly, I believed that the world works by the laws of love but then the love showed me that the world revolves around money. There are thousand ways to teach me the reality but life has chosen love to teach me the brutality of this world. I waved my future with the string of compassion, tied my dreams with the flowers of trust but when the string started cutting my hand and the flowers poisoned my blood, I realized even the courtesy needs to be bought with money in this world. In the distant land I saw a pool of water when I was dying in thirst; I was running for a long time without noticing the blood oozing out from my legs that has forgot the thorns and stones in the path. One point of time I was tired loosing all the blood, I turned to see the path I was running; it was all blood stained. I still tried hard to run in the trust that I will get to drink the distant water but only when the sun started to set I realized I was running only towards a mirage.
I felt ashamed of running like an insane towards something that doesn’t even exist, a fake form of happiness. Do I have to blame the mirage that made me shed blood! No, it was my fault not to realize the reality in the half way, my fault to fall in love with the fake water. It was not just the legs that was bleeding but my entire body. I could feel the pain in every cell of my body, my sun scorched skin turned red as blood was oozing out of every pore of the skin. As the sun rested and the moon rise it started raining. Dear God, you have thought the rain could wash away all the blood stain in the path or from by body! Every drop of rain burned my bleeding skin like an acid drops from the sky.
With the bleeding in the soul and needle stuck heart it feels like the moment I pluck the needle out I will die.